Part 10 – Down Time

That following Sunday morning, after we heard the bad news, Christi and I did not speak much. It seemed like not talking about our emotions would keep them at bay for just a little longer. Dr. Vaughn called shortly after lunch. The call was exactly what we needed. He expressed his concern for us and reminded us that we had four frozen embryos ready when we were ready. Now I know why we left the Houston fertility clinic. We received a personal phone call from the head of the clinic… on a Sunday... and he was genuinely concerned about us. Whether this is something he does for all of his patients or we developed a special bond with Dr. Vaughn… I don’t know. I would hope that every one of his patients experience the same commitment we did.

We had four embryos in the ice-box waiting for a chance to be our children. Dr. Vaughn recommended we get started right away. The initial doctor visit showed we were ready. Christi scheduled an appointment with the hospital to do the transfer. We were ready to let another try pull us out of this rut. Unfortunately, life doesn’t follow our schedule.

Our first scheduled redo was interrupted when Christi came down with a horrible toothache. After a visit with the dentist it was determined that she would need a root canal. Painkillers and antibiotices that come along with a root canal aren't exactly safe for the baby; we would have to wait another month. Another month of living with the thought that this may never work for us.

The following month continued to suck the life and momentum out of our parenthood. The sonogram showed that Christi's uterus wasn't ready. The bad news… we would have to wait another month.

The next month put this entire process in perspective for the both of us. Before we got a chance to schedule our next transfer appointment, we were awoken by a phone call from Christi’s mom. Christi’s grandpa, Sam, had been rushed to the emergency room and things didn’t look good. Sam had been in and out of the hospital for most of the summer. We knew his health was deteriorating but no matter how much you prepare mentally, you are never prepared for death. Christi spent the last week of Sam’s life by his side. She rarely ate and never slept because she was not going to let him die alone. This defines my wife. One moment she’s screaming like a mad woman while leaping over four rows of bleachers at the baseball game because a bug flew within 12 feet of her head… the next she is awake for four consecutive nights making sure her grandfather is comfortable. Christi has more integrity than anyone I have ever met... that's what makes a great mother.

Depression and sleep deprivation don’t improve the odds of making babies… so without question a baby would have to wait. Like I said, life doesn’t follow our schedule.

On to Part 11... Will this ever end?